Balance

“Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters”
~John Greene

Balance in our lives is something that is so utterly important, yet none of us can ever seem to grasp it. My life is chaos, not because of anyone else, but because of myself. I am not saying I am not a good person, simply that I still have much more to learn in this world, just like every other human being out there. Most of you know my life truly revolves around my dogs, as my oldest lays next to me, farting for god knows what reason, I forgive her and don’t make her move no matter how badly I gag and gasp for air. But I know there is absolutely no balance in my life. Why? Because I’m afraid of balance. I shut everything I need out, because it means facing a lot of my fears and I just don’t want to face them, it’s pathetic actually. One of my newer favorite songs is “Let her Go” by Passenger, why? Because it really speaks to me, I feel like sometimes you really have no idea what you have, or how good something is until you don’t have it anymore.

I’ve been thinking about my future a lot here lately, I am so ready to just dive into it, but I know balance is key. I need to get my life completely in order, worry about what is happening right now, not what happened yesterday, or what’s happening tomorrow, I need to worry about today and keep some balance. I need to find myself in all this craziness that the world has become, because this world will truly just pass you by if you don’t find yourself and balance things. You know when your life is a mess, you stress out, get sick, become an absolute emotional disaster. That’s me right now, things are much more extreme at this point for me, because I’ve bottled it all up for so long, let things just be crazy, convincing myself I can just pretend it doesn’t exist and it won’t. But guess what! It really doesn’t work like that.

So to myself; Dude get your shit together. 

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